my roaring twenties

one might call me a “retired party girl.” (well for the most part retired…)

a huge portion of the time i spent with my friends over the last fifteen years, revolved around partying.

once i ditched the booze one of my greatest fears was losing friends or being super bored. luckily, neither of those things happened.

now i cant imagine how taking shots with my peoples was ever more fun than finishing obstacle courses with them. i cant fathom how jager bombs were ever as fulfilling as eating a meal in a foreign country with my girl. i cant understand how i would be happy laying in bed all day with a hangover on a sunday instead of doing my long run for the week.

i am so lucky to have friends who constantly call, email, text me things like, “wanna go to rome in january?” “how about costa rica for thanksgiving.” or “want to sign up for a spartan race in september?”

my girlfriend danielle emailed a link to me yesterday saying, “we should totally go here.”

http://www.cbkmountainadventures.com/

my response, “which adventure looks most awesome?”

this morning i signed up for an 8K race with my friend ryan for the end of this month. to say ryan and i were partners in crime is truly one of the understatements of the year.

i cannot explain how excited i am to bang out a five mile race with one of my main dudes.

one of my favorite parts of growing up inside super old friendships is watching things change for the better. taking turns pushing each other to be the best versions of ourselves. continually being surprised to learn things about these chickens i have known for twenty years.

if anyone would like to join ryan and i as we demolish five miles on june twenty third, click the link below!

http://www.active.com/running/mendham-twp-nj/patriots-5k-8k-race-2012

title from: the good life by weezer
http://youtu.be/gkroIXktjgE

saturday morning i got a text from my girlfriend… she was on the way to the hospital with her husband. she thought she was in labor.

my girlfriend was in labor. not just any girlfriend, one of my kindergarten girls.

a few hours later, i went for a run around the town we grew up in.

ashley’s childhood home is not on a street that i normally include in my runs, but i found myself zipping past her old house. a rush of memories came back to me. i could actually see us as skinny little girls with beat up knees playing skip it in the driveway… picking strawberries from the garden in the yard before they were ripe when her dad wasn’t looking… and in later years praying the sliding glass door wouldn’t squeak while we were sneaking out to parties.

my friend isn’t just my friend any more. the little girl i brought on family vacations is now someone’s mother.

the baby wasn’t quite ready to make her grand entrance on saturday. ashley was sent home to continue waiting.

monday i was driving home from a weekend at the shore when i got the text message… ashley was officially in labor.

after waiting for what felt like days, I got the call later last night… ashley and her husband adam welcomed camilla faye, into the world.

my girlfriend’s life has been forever changed.

i wasn’t expecting it, but when i got the picture of my friend holding her baby for the first time, i cried.

ashley is the girl who braided my hair, the girl who i told first about my first kiss, the girl who walked with me at graduation, the girl i stood next to when she got married (and a million other things i won’t mention here!)

and now, ashley is a mom.

i didn’t think i would feel this way… be so emotional… so genuinely happy.

i could not be more excited for my friend and her husband.

enjoy every single second of being a mother. you are going to be amazing. i love you more than you could ever know.

this afternoon, myself and five of my friends booked a trip to costa rica for the week of thanksgiving.

the man on the phone told us to get ready for monkeys… lots of monkeys.

and zip lining. one of the biggest ziplines in the world.

i have always wanted to zipline and was tempted to add it to my dirty thirty list, but i wasnt sure it would be something i would be able to cross off in time.

once again the universe is giving me exactly what i need.

thankgiving will find my crew zipping around the rainforest, molesting monkeys, and playing in volcanoes. (and maybe crossing off number eight…)

cannot wait to travel out of the country with diana again. we are getting pretty good at skipping town!

oh… and i also booked my flight to VEGAS for sarah’s bachelorette party today! number five better watch out!

my girlfriend lost her grandmother a year ago. last week her grandfather passed. i believe he died of a broken heart. simply put… he missed his girl. he asked his family to put his ashes in with his wife’s after he passed because he wanted to be near her.

it made me think.

all any of this is really about… this whole life thing… is finding the one you cant live without… the one you want to be with all the time… the one that makes ya laugh.

it shouldnt be hard. you shouldnt have to ask someone to spend time with you or struggle day in and day out to make it work. you shouldnt ever be with someone who cheats, lies, or doesnt make time for you.

if a girl doesnt call you back… she doesnt like you. if a guy is too busy to make time to see you… he doesnt like you.

spend time with people who enjoy talking to you.

when i was younger i had a laundry list of qualities i looked for in a guy. today… i want a man who like eating nachos and watching baseball with me.

now that i am no longer in a dangerous relationship i can so clearly see that the best relationships i know are the easy ones.

…the relationships with co-workers that have turned into life long friendships …the love i have for the kids i grew up with …my “boyfrans” who love to spend time with me every single day, tell jokes, and watch sports …my girls who call each other three times a day just to see what’s shakin …my best friend who made time for a coffee date with me the week she was moving into her new house …my sister who knows exactly what to say all the time.

relationships should not be complicated.

yes all relationships… romantic, friendship, family… take work! you must put in love and take care of people. but it should never be complicated or hurtful.

it is sometimes hard to see things clearly when we are on the inside. when arguing and craziness becomes “normal” it is difficult to imagine life without dramzzz.

to all my peeps… both ladies and gents… who are dealing with tough romantical times… take a moment to breathe. take a look from the outside in.

dont EVER put up with shit.

keep your heart (and your head) open.

and dont forget to K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple Stupid… life isnt that hard) ….(and well real kissing too. real kissing never hurts anything…)

saturday my friends and i competed in our first tough mudder!

danielle and i have been talking about competing in one for years and this november we decided to go for it. even though competing in a tough mudder wasnt officially on my dirty thirty list, danielle and i both knew it was something we really wanted to demolish. so, we put our money where our mouths were and signed up.

we managed to convince a ton of our friends (and my sister!) to sign up too.

it felt like we were looking forward to the big day forever and then friday night, the reality of what we were getting ourselves into hit.

staurday morning our team met in the poconos and got psyched for the adventure.

once we arrived at the course, everything happened very quickly. before we knew it, we were signed up, marked up (sharpie marker on our foreheads!) and at the start line.

and then… we were off… ready to kick the day’s ass…

the event was exactly what i thought it would be. grueling, painful, exhilirating, and filthy.

there were twenty seven “obstacles” spread out over twelves and a half miles.

some of the obstacles were insanely hard. we had to run up a black diamond ski trail, plunge into a huge vat of icea water, walk through miles of foot deep mud, crawl under barbed wire, complete up hill monkey bars which were greased with butter… you name it.

nearly all of it was impossible without your team…

lucky for me… i had the BEST team there.

one of the very first obstacles, my sister broke her nose. she completed twelve more miles with blood dripping down her throat and a pounding headache. to say i am proud of her is the understatement of the year.

so many amazing things happened on that course.

i watched my friends overcome physical and emotional hurdles.

i watched my girlfriend finish the race hard on knees which were throbbing in pain. i watched my guy friends drag strangers up a half pipe. i watched one of my girls push through the desire to quit and finish with her team. i couldnt believe i was the only woman i saw complete the monkey bar challenge without giving up and dropping into the water.

saturday was one of the most challenging adventures i have had. when we crossed the finish line (through mud and electro shock wires!) our whole team knew we had done something to be proud of.

special thanks to my parents and matt’s wife ashley for coming… shouting words of encouragement and support for hours and hours… waiting for us at each obstacle… and taking really dope pictures! best cheerleaders ever!

anyone up for tough mudder 2013?

by the time you were my age you had two little girls. you worked, you cooked, you cleaned, you taught us to read and braid our hair. you were there every single day when we got out of school. you put up with other moms talking shit because you were a stay at home mother. they couldn’t understand how much love you put in dinnerr every night. they didnt know how wonderful it was for jamie and i to have our mother help with our homework every day. they didnt know there were years you worked nights.

when jamie and i got older you were able to really start living a life for you.

you dont give yourself enough credit ma.

you jumped out of an airplane, started a book club with your friends, took aerial yoga, try headstands, helmet dived in bermuda, rode a hot air balloon, learned to use facebook, and reentered the work force, and took care of your sick mother in law for years while she was dying.

and… you did it with your own style. you did while wearing hot pink and glitter. you did it while singing show tunes and being positive. you will fight ferociously to defend the honor of your family. you will do unbelievable things for the people you love.

i am so lucky you are my mother and even more lucky to call you my best friend.

happy mother’s day ma.

wednesday night was our (my mom and i) first aerial yoga class!

we weren’t sure what to expect so we arrived really early to check the place out.

the studio was beautiful and we could not wait to get our butts into the hammocks!

the instructor dana, (who i believe is also the owner) really knew her stuff. she explained the practice, where it originated and what we had in store for the night. she knew the human body and took the time to explain exactly how everything we were doing would affect all of our muscles and bones.

we spent a few minutes getting the feel of the silks…

and then… barely five minutes into class… we were upside down.

i was able to get into poses i didnt even know existed. not sure how it happened but i found myself in something called the “bird cage” pose. it was awesome.

my mother was so brave and tried almost every pose!

after spent nearly the entire class upside down i was starting to get a bit lightheaded.

in my yoga practice, i do not get into inversions much (inversions are head or handstand or pretty much anything upside down.) to be honest i am still afraid to invert. the hammocks helped me get over my fear a little which is great.

hopefully next time i will be a little less dizzy after being upside down for so long.

really looking forward to next week’s class!

i have a pretty bad habit of saying, “YES!” to anything and everything and then all of the sudden asking, “what have i gotten myself into?”

yesterday was one of those days.

my girlfriend at work, lisa and i have been talking about picking up some smaller races to keep motivated and have a goal or two to work towards.

i am extremely goal oriented.

running is wonderful and i LOVE it, but knowing a race is coming up takes my training to another level of intense.

lisa and i kept our eyes peeled and emailed links for five and ten k’s back and forth.

yesterday morning a message popped into my inbox from lisa for a half marathon in october.

a half marathon.

dare I do this to myself again? did i already forget the hip pain, the shin splints, the hours spent running during lunch, before work, and at night?

did i forget what happened to my feet and my toe nails?

am i really going to do this to myself all over again… just for that one moment of sheer and utter bliss that occurs when you cross the finish line?

you bet your ass i am.

i even managed to convince my best friend danny to compete with us!

“run a half marathon” is going to be crossed off my dirty thirty list… again.

and then a couple minutes later i received another email from lisa with a promo code for half off the entry fee for the spartan race in september.

lisa, my girlfriend danielle, and i signed up for that too. i know… i have a problem.

if anyone wants to join lisa, danielle, danny, and i for either (or both!) of these events, contact me! i have also included the links below.

how are you going to challenge yourself today?!

http://www.hersheyhalfmarathon.com/

http://www.spartanrace.com/index.html

i love all things harry potter. i could talk forever about the seven books but in the interest of keeping all of you muggles reading… i won’t.

to break it down to the core… harry potter is truly about the triumph of good over evil.

the stories are about doing the right thing despite popularity. harry potter is about believing in things you can’t see… in loving people who are gone but having faith they remain with you always.

the books are about destiny, friendship, and overcoming obstacles with grace and integrity.

when i decided to cover up the tattoo on my wrist, i knew i wanted the replacement to have meaning. the original tattoo symbolized love and commitment. it was my way of saying, “love you forever” to a man i believed i would spend my life with.

i didn’t want my cover up to be something to just erase my mistake. just like the original, i wanted the new tattoo to symbolize something great.

and this time… something that would really be forever.

the deathly hallows in harry potter are three super powerful objects (the elder wand, the resurrection stone, and the cloak of invisibility) created by “death.” legend has it, whoever possesses these objects would become the “master of death.”

of course each of the three objects plays a huge role in many series of events throughout the novels and each contains so much special meaning. i would love to geek out about magic and go into gory detail about each, but i will control myself.

together these deathly hallows are a symbol of protection… of faith… and of triumph. they stand for never giving up even when the end of the road remains a mystery.

READ THE BOOKS.

i have wanted a harry potter tattoo for a while now. i love what the books represent. i love how they made me feel while i was reading them. i love discovering someone is a harry potter fan and talking for hours about wizards and other geeky nonsense.

covering my wrist tattoo with the symbol of the dealthy hallows is perfect.

so i called my wonderful tattoo artist and friend azarja at shotsies tattoo in wayne, nj. azarja has been tattooing me for over five years now. trust me when i say you can get to know someone pretty well when her face is one inch from your boob or arm pit for hours at a stretch. azarja knows my down and dirty secrets.

she assured me we would be able to cover the seven with something amazing and meaningful. she promised she would get me in quickly. and more importantly, she promised me it would all be ok.

i was jazzed.

saturday afternoon i got in my car, ready as i ever would be to cover up a tattoo i got for a man who betrayed me. ready to move on and start fresh. and then it all hit me. i remembered the day i got the original tattoo. how excited i was to surprise my boyfriend for his birthday. how excited he was that i made this very visible, very real commitment to him. i never thought i would ever be at a place in my life where i would want to cover it. where i would feel almost nothing for a man i loved for so long.

but here i was, ready remove that part of my life.

i got myself to the shop and azarja met me with open arms, and promised to take care of it. my friends danielle, stacy, and saul met me at the shop and sat there as i turned my very negative experience into a new chapter.

one hour and one million laughs later, we were done.

i want to thank my beautiful friends for literally being by my side for everything always. you guys will never understand how much you mean to me.

i also want to thank azarja for not only turning my skin into ever evolving beautiful works of art, but for being my friend. i joke about tattoos being therapy, but maybe it is less about the ink and more about the person doing the work. you make me beautiful and you make me laugh. i am blessed to have such a talented friend in my life. love you girl!

“of course it is happening inside your head, harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?” - albus dumbledore

an open “happy birthday love letter” to the greatest man i have ever known.

dear pappy,

when i was younger i assumed everyone’s lives were like mine. i thought dads came home from work and sat on the floor to play with their girls. i assumed all dads played barbies and all parents loved each other.

i believed all dads taught their daughters about music and guns, fishing and animals.

i thought dads were supposed to ask about school and help with projects. i thought everyone had a dad who blasted super loud rock and roll music. i believed all dads read daughters books before bed.

as i got older i realized this isn’t true. most men aren’t like you. most dads don’t take their daughter to get tattoos at thirteen. most dads didn’t come home and eat dinner every single night to talk about politics and debate current events with their kids.

i realized dad’s didn’t always make it to ballet recitals and didn’t go to work super-duper early to get home in time to watch their girls’ track meets.

now that i am in my late twenties i am starting to learn about all of the things you have done for your family and your friends. things most people would never do. you step up to the plate and do the dirty work. you are the glue.

through the events of my most recent relationship, i see more clearly than ever how amazing my life has been. how fortunate i am to have a good dad. no… a great dad.

i grew up with a dad who loved his family more than anything. a dad who put his wife and his girls first… always.

it must have been weird for such an outdoors man to have two girly girls. but you made the most of it. you taught us to fish and shoot and bought us our very own bow. but you also painted our rooms pink and bought us barbie dream cars. you helped us decide which shoes looked best.

you learned the names and birthdays of every member of the boy band 98 degrees when jamie was sure she would one day marry nick lachey. when i was twelve and alanis morrisette was my hero, instead of banning the cd from the house because of the filthy words, you sang along.

when i recently bought my first gun you surprised me with pink ear protection because you understand that even though i am shooting guns, i still want to look cute.

from you i inherited my views on politics, my twisted and morbid sense of humor, my work ethic, my ability to be 100% me and let my freak flag fly.

you gave me my love of music and my strong sense of family. you taught me that my greatest friend in the world will always be my sister. you let me make mistakes and then helped me pick up the pieces. you supported my decision to lead a clean life and joined in everything that went along with that. you support all of my hobbies from running to shooting, from tattoos to participating in tough mudder events. when i purchased my dslr camera you took your first manual camera from the 80s and taught me the principals, explaining aperature, shutter speed and depth of field.

you are selfless and strong. you are an amazing friend, a wonderful husband, and the most amazing father a girl could ask for.

i sincerely hope to one day become even a tiny bit like you.

i love you dad.

hope you have a wonderful birthday.

and now… only because it is your birthday… the most beautiful picture the four of us have ever taken…

im learning that a gun doesn’t really become your own until it undergoes some fine tuning. most gun owners will tell you, their guns are frankensteins… made up of parts from other guns, things they handmade, and pieces “you cant get anymore.”

when i purchased rita in december, i was in love. i mean come on… she is gorgeous.

then when i went to shoot her for the first time, she was a little tight. the amount of pressure it took for me to squeeze the trigger made me flinch. even the slightest movement can make accuraccy harder. and then about five rounds in, she started locking up. residue from the bullets was getting stuck under the ejector star.

rita needed some surgery.

i left her in the hands of the best gun smith i know… my pops.

the day of the surgery i was a bit nervous. i knew her surgeon was the best around, but i was worried about my girl…

before long i received an update….

rita was a new woman.

then for my birthday, my dad surprised me with new grips which fit my smaller hands much better than the original ones did.

i cannot wait to get back out there and shoot her again.

“happiness is a warm gun” – the beatles.

today my-roaring-twenties received its first ever piece of “hate mail.”

i kept the nasty comment (on yesterday’s blog post) up because the commenter spelled “you’re” incorrectly and it made me laugh.

my-roaring-twenties is like a big girl blog now! haters and all!